Are you suffering from working mother's guilt?
Working mothers find it difficult to cope up with their “motherhood” and “career woman” roles and end up feeling guilty. They create such high benchmarks for themselves that it becomes nearly impossible to juggle between the two roles. Having many daycare options and flexible availability of family support also do not serve the purpose at times. We give you some ‘how to get it right tips’ so that you find some solace and peace of mind.
“There’s pressure on everybody to be a supermom”, says Shapiro. “She has two year old going to french lessons…….I have a feeling that she is doing great, and its impossible to feel that I'm getting it right.”
Ralph Gardner in his article (Mom Vs Mom) rightly puts the above lines that it is difficult or close to impossible for working mothers to keep everything intact. Here are some easy ways to keep your tension at bay and focus on making most of your quality time with your kid.
- Have a fixed schedule: your kid should know exactly when will you be available, for instance wake up your kid, take him/her to childcare, sit and have breakfast together also if possible try and pick your kid from the childcare, discuss and hear what all your little one did the whole day, be more participative and indulge in the day to day activities which your kid did in childcare centre.
- Prioritize: set your priorities right. When you are working focus completely on that rather than thinking what your kid may be doing at certain point of the day. Similarly when you are with your kid, totally shut your disturbances like cell phones, television, computers so that you are free to play and interact.
- Share the load: don’t unnecessarily burden yourself with the entire responsibilities. Figure out ways where your spouse can handle the little one, for instance picking him/her up from the childcare or bathing the kid while you are preparing breakfast.
- Fun on weekends: spend some lone time with your kid, that is, no maid and no family solely you and your kid. You can watch cartoon movies together, read story books or go to a near by park and enjoy together.
- Stress less: taking stress only means more trouble as you will get irritated easily which in turn will spoil the time spent with your kid. Rather than counting the numbers of hours give importance to spending quality time. Less stress is directly proportional to more quality time spent with your kid.
- Find Perspective: embrace the fact that you can’t do it all and you don’t have to feel guilty for it. Accept the fact that in the process of raising a kid and building a career there will be some slippages. If you feel guilty about spending less time with your kid, your behavior may show that guilt. You may sometimes give-in to the undue demands or relax rules, resulting in spoiling the kid which will just add to your vows.
Remember being realistic and pragmatic is the only key to strike a work life balance; Mantra is to feel happy and enjoy your motherhood phase as rightly put by Bonnie Rochman “Being a mother is part who you are but it should not be all of who you are.”